Xander's ipod

Xander does not have an ipod. However he really, really, really wants one. I don't know why. I barely got one a year ago for Christmas. He thinks they are magical though and loves how he can listen to music that no one else gets to. He asks for an ipod all the time. I keep telling him that they cost lost and lots of money and only big kids usually get them. I think this intrigues him more, not less. I have often told him that he could earn the money for it but it would take a long time. He has never explored this option........until today.

Last summer I started paying the boys for chores. I wanted them to get the chance to buy things they want so when I am in the store and they beg me to buy stuff I can say, "Do you have any money?" and them to actually have a potential of having money. I also want them to connect money to hard work to motivate them for hard work, however I didn't want them to be able to opt out of chores if money isn't motivating - you still have to do your chores. So this is the system I came up with.

10 cents for every chore (some of these chores are barely chores, but things I want them to take personal responsibility. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, cleaning room, making bed, setting table, cleaning up toys, feeding animals and most recently cleaning bathrooms, sorting and folding laundry and vacuuming.)

20 cents if you do it without me asking. I would pay serious money for a self driven kid to do chores.

no money if I have to ask more then once.

Until recently, Xander has never been motivated by money. He just would say, "Soren will buy it for me, so I don't have to earn money." Soren is way too generous and kind with his money. Because of this attitude I have had to put my foot down with a new rule. "You should know Xander, I will not let Soren buy anything for you, no matter how nice he is or wants to. Sorry dude." What really has recently increased Xander's interest in money is when he realized money buys gum. And when you are the owner of the gum pack, you can have gum anytime you want, but when Mom is the owner of the gum pack, it is doled out very sparingly. Xander loves gum. So, he has felt the power of money and now I come to the ipod.

So today he begged for me to buy an ipod like he does every week or so and again I told him to earn the money. Well today the lightbulb went off and he became driven. So driven that he has

• cleaned the whole bathroom (granted this takes forever and I am involved a lot, but it is good training. Can't wait for the future)
• cleaned his room
• made his bed
• got dressed
• brushed his teeth
• vacuumed upstairs
• cleaned up all the toys upstairs
• and is now sorting the laundry and will put away his own laundry.

After every chore he asks if he made enough to buy the ipod. I told him he needs to earn 40$ (we are big craiglist fans) but that number just isn't sinking in, so we made a little poster with a check box by each dollar up to 40$. I can't believe the chart alone hasn't deterred him yet. I don't know how long this is going to last but it has been one amazing day.

He was amazing cleaning up the play room. He was so motivated and put everything where it belongs very quickly. It goes to show you that 4 yr olds are so capable when they aren't complaining and feeling abused.

$2.5 down - $37.5 to go.

Insights from the Dump

We are finally finishing cleaning up our yard from the ice/snow storm that took down so many trees and branches. I know I am growing up and getting more mature because there are times in my life I wish I was a girl. This may be confusing to you. Yes I am a woman, and a real one at that, but I am not a REAL girl. I do stuff all the time that real girls wouldn't do. Like cutting down trees with chainsaws or building decks and fences by myself ect. I use to just crave experience so bad I wanted to do EVERYTHING. Well, now that I have done a lot it is okay with me not to have to do everything. In fact, I want to try out being a girl. I haven't really done that yet. I want some man to go, "Oh let me help you that." as I am just a wee thing and a girl to boot. "Oh thank you strong man. It is so heavy and I just didn't know what to do, until you came a long." I am really terrible at this but suddenly see value in it.

As I was taking a monstrous load of branches and wood to the dump, I was thinking how I would love to be a girl - particularly today. The dump is one of Americas sins. If you go there is is the grossest, smelliest, ugliest place. Pleh - yuck! I always hate going to the dump and I feel like a terrible person when I do. I feel like I am polluting the world. Giving it cancer. Condemning it to death. Today I was dumping wood so what I was dumping didn't make me feel that way, but just being in that place did. So I am already feeling down from this horrific place when I get on top of my monstrous tangled pile of wood. How am I ever going to get all this stuff out of the trailer by myself. It is so heavy and tangled and pokey. I feel it is impossible for one little girl to accomplish such a feat by herself in this pit of despair. But I begin. I get slapped in the face with twigs and pathetically wrestle with the branches. I decide I will be here all day and there is no joy in the world. And so I commit myself to this misery and just keep working. I pull, yank, push and throw. I feel like I am making no headway. It is so impossible but I keep working.............and then what do you know, I am done in 15 minutes. 15 minutes of misery. That was it. I am shocked and surprised. Then a flood of memories of these same feelings come to me. Oh yeah, this is what happens to me every time I go to the dump. I think there is no way I can do this by myself but once I start and just keep going, it magically disappears. I have learned this lesson of "just keep working and the impossible become possible", many, many times, yet I still forget it. What is wrong with me? Why am I so stupid? Curse this flawed brain. If I could only remember what I learned, I would be so smart. I would actually have a head start on tomorrow. But instead I have to waste time re-learning and re-learning.

Now that the task is done, I am okay with not being a girl again and see value in being capable. - What a strange roller coaster of emotions.

(Note, Ryan took this mango pile to the dump the day before, but sadly it already closed. So today I needed to do it because he was at work.)

Tooth Fairy's 1st apperance

Soren lost his first tooth! We have officially entered the awkward school age. Soren's had a routine dental check up a few days ago and the dentist said

"Soren's tooth is so wiggly, I don't know how he eats. You really need to get that out of there or it could shift his permanent tooth into the wrong position."

I didn't know it was that loose. I mean yikes. I had wiggled it a few times before but Soren didn't want me to go snooping around in his mouth much. He was scared of it hurting. So on the car ride home I said,

"Hey Soren, want to pull out that tooth today? The dentist said we have to get it out. Hey, I know, we can pull it out with some pliers. That is how my Mom and Dad would pull out my teeth!" - If I say "that is what I use to do as a kid" I almost have a 100% chance that my kids will accept whatever it is I am talking about.

But regardless, that is not a joke. I have many vivid memories of my Dad joking about different ways to pull out teeth (string and the door method ect.) and then pulling out rusty old pliers. My mom may have forced him to wash them first though. I of course thought this was normal as I saw many of my older siblings get their teeth pulled with them. Sometimes my Mom would get enough courage to try but after it slipped a few times she would either chicken out or get fired and we would just wait for Dad to get home. By the time I was on my 4 or 5th loose tooth, I started getting really motivated to get my teeth out. If it was even slightly wiggly I would ask my Mom to pull it. She would do a wiggle test and turn me down, "Sorry, Quinae, that is not wiggly enough. Keep working it." And so I did. I would work on it all day and by the evening I would either pull it out myself or pass the wiggle test. I do not know why I was so motivated. Our tooth ferry was cheep and forgot most the time. I eventually would just go up to my mom and say, "here is my tooth. Can I have a dollar?" My Mom was happy to oblige and not have to attempt to remember. It was a win-win.

Now, since Soren is 6, he doesn't know that this is probably a strange way to pull out teeth. So, he nervously accepted my idea. Later that night I told him it was time and got the pliers. As I tried to get a good grip I started to realize for the first time why my Mom never liked pulling out teeth (strangely enough when I was a kid, I didn't know what her problem was). The whole time you are thinking, "I hope this goes well." as the kid the kid scrunches his face and moans in the anticipation of pain. I got a good hold of the tooth (not an easy task) and trying to tell my self to yank. "One two three yank Quinae!" But I didn't yank. Lets try again. "One, two three, YANK Quinae!" Dang it, my body didn't obey. By this time Soren is getting more nervous as he keeps him mouth open wide and pliers and squeezing his tooth but not moving. Suddenly I hear Ryan come down stairs and I sigh in relief! Yes I call my girl card! You see, I have this girl card that I like too use at times. I figure I don't use it much so I don't feel guilty at all when I use it.

Once I tell Ryan what the dentist said, Ryan becomes all business. Ryan rocks the tooth a few times to get a feel of it and Soren begins to cry. I begin wondering if this is a good idea and as I begin to quietly himm and haw that thought Ryan rocks the tooth 3 more times and yanks.

The tooth is out! Ryan and I squeal in delight and amazement while Soren screams in horror at the sight of blood. I try to convince Soren he is so tough and amazing while he screaming like he is hemorrhaging out. Granted this is the most blood Soren has ever lost - which speaks to the lack of cutting injuries he has had - not the tooth. I begin to wonder if we have traumatized our child. A few minutes later that fear was validated........by the other kid.

Suddenly I see Xander, who was sitting just a couple feet away the whole time, look a little white faced, saying while shaking his head, "I never want to loose a tooth."

Dang it. There are so many ways to screw up your kid.

Once the bleeding stopped in a few minutes, Soren recovered and felt like the tough guy I praised him to be. Here are the photos to prove it.

With the help of Mr. Tooth Fairy, Mrs. Tooth Fairy remembered to put the dollar under the pillow. Soren was so happy the next morning he decided to wake us up at 6am to celebrate.

One down, 19 more to go.....times 2.

Courageous Soren

Today my son Soren bore his testimony at church. I was so proud of him. I know grown adults who won't even do that! Here is how it played out.

Today my newest niece, Eleanor, had her baby blessing. We all went to her ward to support her and her family. Of course it was fast Sunday which is a day where anyone in the congregation can go up and bare their testimony of what they believe. I had a stirring in my heart, you know that feeling that you should go up and bare you testimony. I felt like I had done it fairly recently so I was sort of bummed. I didn't want to go up. "Really, do I have to?" I said to my feeling. I thought about ignoring it and not doing it, but then the thought came, "okay, but your still accountable." "Uhg, alright, you win." I reluctantly committed to go up after the next person. My mom beat me to the punch so I had to sit up at the front to wait my turn. All of a sudden Soren starts coming up. I started to have a flood of thought. "Oh shoot. We have never practiced bearing testimonies. We really haven't even talked about testimonies, except for what they are. Oh dear!" I gave him a crash course in testimony bearing while my Mom spoke.

Q -"Soren what are you going to say up there?"

S -"I am going to say, I am so grateful we all believe in Jesus."

Q - "That is great Soren, but how about you talk about what you believe in and what you are grateful for." I drilled him on what he believes in and what he was grateful for. Right before it was our turn he said, "No Mom, I want to say different things." That struck fear into my heart. Ahhhhh! What is he gong to say when he gets the microphone?! My crash course in testimony bearing time was up and now we would just have to wait and see. He wanted me to come up to bare my testimony first, so I did. Then he got up and I gave him a few seconds to start on his own. He got real close the microphone like it was an ice cream cone with lips touching it and give a big slow deep breath in and then looked at me. 2 minutes of testimony coaching just fell out of his brain. Phew! Stage fright prevented him from doing anything a 6 year old really wants to do with a microphone. I asked him what he was grateful for and it was all the trigger he needed. He then bore the cutest little testimony "I am grateful for Jesus and that I get to pray to him and I love my family in the name of Jesus Christ Amen" and then literally ran away back dow to his Dad grinning ear to ear!

Oh how proud I am of his one sentence testimony. Especially since I have been such a bad teacher on this topic. I don't incorporate formal teaching into our week as much as I should. What a sweet little boy. Man I love that kid.

Pre-Birthday, Birthday Cake

Tonight my twin brother, Shem, came over for dinner and we celebrate our 31st birthday. I made grass fed beef spare ribs. It was delicious. My sister in law raved about them which makes me love her all the more. She in return made us two incredibly delicious birthday cakes. She is a fabulous baker. With every bite I felt each hour slaving love she poured into it. It is supper special when someone suffers in the kitchen for you. Don't you think? I am crazy lucky that I have such an awesome family and that they choose awesome spouses. 31. Yeah, we look like a couple of middle aged people - all old and sad. Sometimes when I lay down a little funny, I get up all old lady like. Sigh - hello 30's. Dang we look alike. I never thought we looked more alike then any other sibling in my family, but in this picture we look a lot alike. We applied to the Amazing Race together a few months ago. Can you believe that they never called us back? I can't. We would be perfect. I would love to do a wild and crazy race with this guy and be forced to hang out and build more memories. Sigh. Thanks Shem and Ruth and cute baby Asher! We loved seeing you!!

Related to Famous

A couple weeks ago we went to see my niece Sadie's play. She is Charlie in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Can you believe it? This is a school production that takes in 3 different schools and grades 6 - 9. She is in 6th grade and landed the lead - Charlie. This school must have some serious fundraising because they had a budget of 12,000$ It was a fabulous production. Sadie of course was in gobs of scenes, gobs of lines and had a whole song solo. She did amazing. I couldn't be prouder.

I took the boys and they loved it too. It was all so special. The play was over 2 hrs long and Soren and Xander started to get wiggly but they did great overall.

Here is Charlie and her sister. This family is full of drama and singing talent.

Sadie was so famous. Signing all these cute fans cast list.

After the show they meet a bunch of cast and Soren in particular loved meeting everyone. He was so cute and he walked around and shyly spoke and shook hands with all these famous big kids. Way to go Sadie. We love you!!

Valentines - Boy Style

We made some homemade valentines this year. They turned out great and the boys had a good time making them. I thought they would like valentines in the shape of weapons and superheros. BoyT was I right. After we were done they got to play with the rest of the supplies and came up with their own love weapons.

Soren made a love gun

Xander made a love spiky bomb.

Getting some love from one of my valentines. Xander is definitely a lover. He hugs and kisses me many, many times a day. If I do something he likes, (ie: make a meal he likes, give him a gum ball, tell him we are going to the park ect.), he is suddenly over come by love and lunges to give me hugs and kisses wherever he is (and also usually uses a baby voice with made up words of joy to celebrate). I love it (the hugging and kissing part) and hope he never grows up.