The secret to Home Depot

A few days ago Xander and I went to Home Depot. We were in the electrical aisle when Xander wasn't looking where he was going and bumped his head on something protruding from the aisle. It was a hard bump and he cried pretty good. A Home Depot employee saw the event and was very concerned for Xander. He was fine. It didn't even leave a bump just a little scratch. If they only know what he does at home. Anyway the employee couldn't let it go and was so concerned and kept trying to help and with every questions the employee asked Xander would wail louder and lauder. He asked if Xander needed a bandaid and I said yes just to get the guy away for a bit. Sure enough a Xander stopped crying 30 seconds after he left. By the time he came back Xander was fine and chatting up a storm with this guy. We got on the topic of how all the workers wear orange shirts and apron when the employee brings up these Saturday workshops where kids can come and build things and get their own orange apron. Knowing you have to be 5 to do those I popped that bubble pretty quick for Xander telling him the rule. Then Xander says to the employee, "Who is in charge here? Maybe they will let me go." The employee thought that was so enchanting he left with a new mission. I was just grateful he was gone thinking we are all done with those shinangons and I could get what I came for. I found the electrical guy (who clearly knew nothing) and was asking him a bunch of questions and had just finished clarifying, "so what your saying is you don't really know the difference between these lights?" when the manager comes walking up bearing gifts with 3 other employees. They had a home depot apron and car kit to build. While the manager was talking to Xander he asked what that button was on her apron. She then was like, "Do you want that. You can have it?" Then she took it off and gave it to him. Wow, these people are desperate not to be sued. The manager brought up the kid class and I asked if Xander had to be 5 and she says, "How old is he? 3? Wow, well I think he is ready for this class. He said he builds stuff all the time. If you have any problems you just tell them Shirley said it was okay that he goes." I immediately wondered what else the name Shirley could do for me.

Needless to say I think every time I am at Home Depot I am going to start ramming my own head into things.......maybe I could get some free paint.

30

Well, I did it. I turned 30. No one asked me if I wanted to. It just happened to me......and I am not so happy about it. I mean 30 - that is so old. I am officially a serious adult. Sigh. Really old people tell me if they could go back to any age, it would be in their 30's. So Really Old People, I am counting on you to be right. Heres to 30. The good news is Ryan threw me a party (your the best Ryan!!). A Rocker Princess party. I have never had a "Princess" party before. I liked it - it made me happy. So at least I am a happy 30 year old. Lots of great people came and in true birthday form they had to do whatever I wanted them to. In this case they had to play improvisational games. You know games from shows like "who's line is it anyways" and stuff. It was fun. I haven't done those games since college. Ah the good old days when I wasn't old.......but I digress.

The 30 year old Rocker Princess

I am hopping if I keep saying 30 years old it will eventually feel better.

The enthralled audience for the games

We all have mad acting skills.

My sister Janea came over on my actually birthday with a scrumptious cake and awesome birthday hat to help me ease into 30. 30, 30, 30 years old, 30, 30 years old - no it still doesn't' feel so good. 30 - Hmmmmmm.

My twin brother lives in the area and we have big plans to to celebrate 30 but we need better weather. It involves jumping off of cliffs......with paragliders. Yeah baby!

Bathroom schizophrenia

I now know why people put books and magazines in the bathroom. These people must be parents of young children.

These days I am finding myself unconsciously putting a little speed into my step when I need to go to the bathroom. If Xander is somewhat near by I need to be stealthy and quick. He has lion like tendencies and can smell when I am trying to shake him. I usually can get in the bathroom and close the door but often have to put my body weight behind the door to get a good lock. Ahhh, peace for a couple of minutes. Soon after this thought comes the pounding begins, the request begin to fly and the hand under the door appears. Apparently my definition of peace has morphed over the years.

If I was serious about my moment of peace I would up my experience by getting bose noise canceling headphones, some good reading material, a heated toilet seat, and a toilet lid that can also message your back. But alas I am subject to only what my imagination can alter my reality into. - I call it - Bathroom Schizophrenia - a mothers modern coping tool.

This can't be normal

This is dedicated to Xander's future wife - the woman who has to raise his offspring. May this story answer some questions you may have about your own kids.

Xander has seasons where he goes to bed like a champ and other where he is coming out 2-6 times stalling to go to bed. Currently we are in the latter season. He can be absolutely exausted but still will stall in going to be. "When will you go to bed?" "If you stay up then I can stay up!" "I am not tired." "I just need to tell you something." "I just want to give you a hug and kiss." "My room is too hot (at 65 deg). These are all of Xander's standard excuses. Last night was no exception. When this happens we usually threaten to put or actually put a lock on his door. Then he throws a horrific fit for 15 min, the lock is removed and he almost always stays in after that. Although it is a successful process it is annoying and drags out bedtime. Some nights we are more patient with this process. Last night was not one of those and he ended up in the closet for time out which he fell asleep in less then 2 minutes.

Xander is also in a pattern of waking up 1-2 times a night crying from dreams or random requests. These also fluctuate cyclically and they are currently bad. Again last night was no exception. However the end result was really weird. So at 12:30 am he woke up crying. I was in REM or something because it was so painful to drag myself out of that bed. Once I got up there he was crying saying, "why is everyones underwear twisted?"

Q "Did you have a bad dream buddy?"

X "No! Why is everyones underwear twisted?"

Q "I don't know sweetie. Lets go back to bed."

X "Yes you do. Tell me!

This is a bad sign. If he denies a bad dream and wants a question answered and my first answer is not satisfactory then we are dealing with an anal unrational kid on the search for a very specific answer who will not stop until he gets it. He can do this during the day it can take 5-15 mins to resolve and may end up an a full tantrum. Needless to say it is annoying even at my full rested best self. At night with a tired Mommy it is a recipe to disaster.

Q "They are twisted because of the wind." Easiest way out of this is to play the game - but I only have one guess in me.

X "No that is not it."

Q "Then why are they twisted Xander?"

X "Well, who is wearing underwear?"

I got sucked into this painful conversation for a few minutes until I saw no easy way out and my fatigue clock struck and "desperate for sleep Mom" came out. (=Grumpy) When this happens my problem solving skills go into the toilet and the only things I can think of to solve these sort of problems is super glueing Xanders lips shut and the like. So I declared myself an unfit parent and tag teamed Ryan in. (By now it was 1:30am so I gave it my best.) He was working the next day so I try to avoid at all costs waking him which is why Xander couldn't just cry it out. However after waking Ryan that was the only solution we could come up with. So I walked in, told Xander that Daddy said he could just cry it out, and put the lock on the door. Of course Xander began screaming and kicking the door. Luckily we have a dehumidifier that makes some excellent white noise.

At 2:30am I woke up and checked on Xander. He was crying still and I almost went in because it was so sad. But then he began kicking the door again and nothing destroys sympathy faster then a good old door kicking session. So I walked away.

Then I woke up at 4am. I went to check on him and his lights were on. I assumed he would be asleep on the floor were he was protesting. I opened the door. He was pleasant, calm, cooperative and AWAKE!

Q "What are you doing?"

X "I am trying to get the lock off."

Q " Have you been awake this whole time."

X "Yes."

Q "You need to go to bed!"

X "Then take off my lock."

Terrified about the next day I took the lock off and he finally went to bed.

What the flibity-gibit! This can't be normal. That kid can get crazy hyper-focused. Are we just dealing with extreme stubbornness here or is this something else?

He Won

Everyday no matter how the weather is clearly exhibited out our window Xander ask?

"Is it sunny today?" On those rare days I reply with a "yes", he immediately proceeds to say, "Then can I wear shorts?" and I always have to be the bearer of bad news and reply, "No, even though it is sunny it is still freezing."

Xander loves shorts so much that he is has been known to risk his life to get some. After battling Xander all winter long about when it is appropriate to wear shorts, I finally collected all the shorts and put them up in a bin on the tallest shelf in Xander's closet. Surely he won't reach them. He is barely 3 feet tall and that is 7 feet tall and I declared myself a good Mom.

Less then 30 minutes latter - Xander is wearing shorts again! "What?! How did you get those? Show me." With a smile ear to ear he proudly takes my hands and walks me to the closet. The rubbermaid container is on the floor with the contest sprawled about. "How did you get these?" I requested/demanded. His smile widens and he points to the ladder that was used for the bunkbeds that is leaning on the other side of the closet. Then in true Xander form, barely being able to keep up with his own excitement he says, "I climbed up on the ladder and, and, and then I jumped and knocked the box down and, and, and got the shorts." Feeling grumpy that I was outwitted by a 3yr old I mentally vowed to be the winner of this ordeal. "Fine. Then this box has to go on the top shelf in the garage." I sneered with victory. Now it is 9 feet in the air and no ladders in sight. Although I knew he could climb the shelves if he was so desperate, I figured he would get hurt or scared before he got to 9 feet in the air. I felt confident that although I may have an ER bill on my hands - he would not be wearing shorts when I take him there. Take that Xander. Just try to wear shorts now Buck-o. I then mentally celebrated as I preceded to go about my daily activities.

30 min later - I hear Soren desperately beckon me. "Mom you need to come up stairs." These can be false alarms. "Why Soren?" I asked. "Cuz Xander is going to cut his pants." OH MY GOSH! I leap the stairs in 3 bounding steps just in time to see Xander, with only underwear and a shirt on and with his pants nicely laid out on the floor with scissors over them ready to alter them into shorts. Needless to say the shorts are out again. Apparently I would rather have my son be cold then have to go shopping more then I already have to. So the new rule is - You can wear shorts only inside. This does not seem to be a problem as he enjoys changing his clothes and this just gives him more reason to. Dang that boy is good. Scary good.

problem solving

This morning Soren woke up before Xander. Xander is the higher maintenance of the two right now so with this little break I decided to read my scriptures and take a shower before doing anything for the boys. By the time I came out of my room (7:30am) both boys were awake but none to be found. I looked around and finally out the window and saw Xander. Xander is in his jammies, (his summer jammies because if he can get away with shorts he will) two coats and a pair of boots and in each had he had a flashlight and a whistle. To this moment I still don't know why he was outside but I am rather pleased that he wore a coat let alone two and boots. He usually wants to be scantily clad outside during the winter. Apparently he thinks we live in Arizona. After getting him inside I went in the kitchen to find this. This is not sound engineering, but apparently effective as I no longer have lollypops in the cupboard above the refrigerator. This was Soren's handiwork. This is my question. Why when I am in the room my boys can't even zip up their own zipper on their pants, but when I am out of the room they can problem solve anything they want?

Projects

I have been working on some projects over the past few weeks. We may be obsessed with storage. Anyway, we found these series of 5 closets for FREE on Craigslist. I had to disassemble them, move them to my house, and reassemble them. They didn't have any shelves oe top to the closets so I had to build those too. After doing that I trimmed the whole thing out to make it look more built in and have it go all the way to the ceiling. One day, one far distant day, I would like to build new doors because this is not my favorite look and I am not for glass let alone see through. The whole reason why I wanted cabinets in the first place is to hide my stuff. However, it is hard to complain about free.
This is a dress up organizer for the boys I built. It is nice that their dress up clothes that are used daily have a "place". Now I just need to teach them how to hang up clothes........
This is a kids craft table and chairs I built for the boys. The plans for this and the dress up organizer come from this awesome website anawhite.com. This woman designs simple things with easy instructions usually knock offs from pottery barn. She is very inspirational and people who have never built anything are motivated and successful in building her plans. I think she is amazing. I love this website and want to build a bunch more things on her site. I have the cutes fabric I plan on covering the bins with so that their table can be adorable instead of only utilitarian.......I wonder when I will actually do it. Once the function of the project is completed I slow way down in finishing things. (Dang you Thompson trait!) The boys (especially Soren) LOVE this table and use it everyday. Ah, success!

Stackable chairs. You can't tell me that is not cool. These chairs cost me about 4$ each. The table I think was about $40. To build these things only takes a few hours. To finish them takes FOREVER. I often dream of Ryan doing some of the finish work on these projects like my Mom would do for my Dad. Although that has not happened he does sometimes clean up after me - a perk which I love.........unless it is while I am building.
These are the most designer shelves I have ever seen. Most the stuff I make does not come out this cute, so I am very pleased with these guys. This is in my laundry room. I now have black baskets on top full of cleaning stuff. The stuff I use often is on the lower little shelf and my favorite feature about these shelves is the rod at the bottom. We go through about 15 towels a day. Half from the boys cleaning up their endless spills, the other half from them being "creative". Anyway, I hang them here to dry so they don't sour and I don't have to do the laundry daily. It has been wonderful for us.
I have 4 major projects either in the works or all the materials collected and just waiting to be manipulated into something better. That doesn't include the fabric I have for the drapes and valances for 5 of my windows that I have had for several months. I often feel confused about which project I should be working on and what is more important because depending on what room I am in, dictates what feels most important. If only I had insomnia, the things I could do.......