Week At a Glance

Wow.  It has been a whirlwind and I am sitting confused in the aftermath.  Super briefly my week

Friday biked solo 45 miles - checking out a dreamy trail I want to take my kids on.  It was suppose to be 60 miles but I got 2 flats and didn't have a kit to fix the second one, which lead to a 6 mile walk and a phone call to Mom.  Bummer.  Stayed the night at my Mom's for a little sleepover and was pampered.  She is the best.

Saturday - More hanging out and talking with my Mom, then off to home to do some work around the house with Ryan.

Sunday - Church with new calling in primary.  Afterwards giant (like 13 families giant) potluck with friends at my house which turned into a camp out with 5 families in my backyard, a fire and lots of sticky, yummy smores and a 2am bedtime.

Monday - early rising to make giant pancake breakfast with crazy good toppings for the 5 families that stayed plus 2 more that came back.  Then off to work at 1pm until midnight.

Tuesday - Get boys off to school, feed animals and sleep!  Be confused and groggy the rest of the day and get little done.  Catch up with people on phone that have been behind on.  Wake up several time in night with Xander and his coughing spells

Wednesday - Get Soren off to school, Xander stays home with terrible cold. Help a friend with Dr. appt and medical issues for almost 4 hrs.  Garden for an hour and get less done then I am suppose to around house.

Thrusday - today.  Attend funeral for a 23 yr old woman who I was a YW leader to years ago.  So sad. Meet for a 4th year Girls Camp meeting.  Meet a new neighbor who just got milking goats yesterday and make new friend.  Clean up side of road that has a bunch of trash on it because Soren really wants to (love that boy).

I am so behind.  I have list of stuff I am suppose to get done daily, weekly and monthly.  Uhg.  Projects up the wazoo and garden/animals that need daily cares. A house that needs constant organizing and cleaning.  Patients that need medical care, a bank account that needs filling, and boys that need teaching and loving and a whole lot of memory making and gobs of food.  A husband that needs attention and TLC and a church calling that needs my focus and time.  Girls camp that needs planning and extended family and friend relationships that need building and serving.  All the while cultivating my own spiritual strength and knowledge, health and physical strength so that I can do all that.  And what do I do?  I watch tv.

Sigh.  This is where I get confused. I am pretty sure I can't quite fit it all in, in one day or even week just to attempt to repeat it.  How do I balance you and create effectiveness.  Efficiency?  Success?  You look impossible. I guess I will just go watch tv. It all seems so less impossible come 8am.......but by 8pm, you look impossible again.  I am feeling confused on how to balance it all......I should probably just go to bed.  Good night world.  See you on the flip side.    



 

Morning conversations

It is 6:15am - the TV is locked off.  Everyone is in my bed.

Q "Soren why are you waking up so early?"  This has been a daily occurrence for weeks.

S "I hear a crunch, and it wakes me up.  It goes crunch, crunch crunch I don't know what that is."

Q "Okay......Xander why do you wake up? "

X "It starts right here"  pointing to his big toe, " and it goes all the way up here," sweeping his hand all the way up to his head, "and then I am like awake.

Curse that big toe!


Later this morning.   Soren has some red yarn that he has tied to a fork.

S "I need something I can climb with this."

X "You can climb the fridge."

Q "Wait what?  Lets talk this through before you do anything.  You want to climb something with the fork?"

S "Yeah" and Soren air climbs and stabs his imaginary object with the fork and uses it for leverage.

Q "So you want to climb something like a tree."

S "Yeah! Come on brother, lets go climb a tree."

Soren slips on his boots with his boxer shorts and a over sized shirt that makes him look naked on the lower half.  Xander runs off in just a pair of shorts and rain boots.

Thinking their apparel will help limit what they can do outside as it is cold, I yell out, "Just bring me back my fork..........still straight."

Later this morning.

X "Mom, do you have any cardboard?"

Q "How big do you need it?"

S "like this"  Spreading his arms as far apart as they can go."

Q "What are you going to build?"

X "A secret hide out."

S "With knives and weapons."

Q "No knives.  I will look for some cardboard."

It is 7:35.  We get a lot done when the TV is off.

Take That Satan!

For FHE (family night) a couple of weeks ago I did the plan of salvation which is basically the meaning of life using these visual aids 

http://www.theredheadedhostess.com/most-popular/plan-of-salvation-for-kids-and-everyone-else-too/

It went really well and was interesting how much they asked questions and how much they seem to understand.  Well, a couple of days ago Xander asked some follow up questions and somehow it came out that Satan is sad/mad when we do good things and happy when we do bad things whereas Jesus is happy when we we do good things and sad when we do bad things.  Now, if you know Xander well, you know, there is something about how his brain ticks that makes him a perfect candidate for reverse psychology.  He cannot help himself but do the opposite.  Reminding him of things he should not do is a very bad idea.  Telling him to do bad things, is a sure way to get him to choose the right, share,  eat new foods, ect.  It is twisted, I know, but it is so effecting that we just can't help but do it all the time.  In fact, reverse psychology is so effective he has been known to cry while he shovels food he really doesn't like in his mouth and say, "stop playing this game.  I don't like it."  So although he knows he really doesn't want to eat the food, he has to because we told him not to.  It is so strange.  

Yesterday Xander got into a money making mood, which means he offers to clean the whole house and does it.  I was painting some doors in the garage and Xander kept running in and telling me all the chores he had done and all the money he was making.  Then one time he was telling me that he had helped clean Soren's room too and then added,

"What would Satan say about me cleaning Soren's room."

"Oh Satan would be mad.  He would be like, "No, don't clean his room.  Dang it.  You are being way too nice.  Arg!"  I said in my best theatrical voice.

"And what would Jesus say?"  he questioned.

"Oh, Jesus would be like, 'Yes!  This makes me so happy, what a wonderful boy he is!!'"

Xander giggled in delight and ran off.  5 minutes later he came back,

"I cleaned up the whole living room by myself.  Now what would Satan say?"

"No!  Noooo!  NOOOOOOOOO!"  I hollered in my best evil villain voice.

This time Xander adds a dance with his giggles and then runs off.  5 minute later he reports again about his good deeds he has done and we review mostly what Satan's response would be and sometimes Jesus response.  It was so cute, so fun and very effective.  I love having another tool to help Xander do good things.

Take that Satan!

Cops, thieves and a bunny

So, I have this cute little bunny who hates to be in her cage (don't blame her) and turns out we are allergic too (not surprising if you knew me growing up). Anyway, our indoor bunny is now an outdoor bunny, and since she hates to be in her cage, on nice days I let her run around outside. I keep hoping she will just return to her cage for food, water, and safety like my chickens, but she doesn't. I think she would never return if I didn't forcer her to. It is too hard on me to cage up my animals forever (forget about the animals, it is too hard on me). They just never seem that happy and I can't handle it. Yes, letting them run around in my unfenced yard has lead to deaths - predominantly chicken deaths, but I ease my guilty conscious with the thought that my animals would rather have a short happy life then a long caged life.......true? And yes it does cost me more to replace these animals, but can you really put a price on animal joy? The question is, what are they going to say to me in heaven? I will either have a lot of chicken friends, or a lot of chicken enemies. But I digress.

Back to the bunny. So the bunny is running around and she loves to go to the neighbors. In fact this has brought half my neighborhood together. I have lived in this neighborhood for 7 years, but there are many neighbors that I don't know - and I have thrown some big neighborhood gatherings (that clearly were not well attended.) Well, apparently no matter how antisocial you are, if there is a cute, little bunny hoping around, you will drop anything to help it. Neighbors I have never talk to have gone out of their way to find me and let me know where my bunny is. Bunnys have magical powers. This bunny also has no street smarts. Apparently she has almost been hit by a car several times. I am planning on making her a bunny run (which I haven't bought into will actually make her happy) but I haven't yet, and while I procrastinate making it, I still let her out to run around, even though the last time I vowed I wouldn't anymore. She just loves it so much. I can't help it. So, I let her out today and after 15 minutes I decided to check her wear abouts. she tends to hang out in a couple of neighbors yards an so I was in that area when a neighbor I have never spoken to said that she saw someone in a silver truck stop, pick up my bunny that was on the side of the road and drive off. I was so shocked. My bunny was gone. It gave me flash back on the red wagon incident. I quickly relayed the wagon story to the neighbor and said,

"I guess I am just too trusting."

With a flat voice the woman responded, "Yeah, you are way to trusting." And to get her point really across she added, "You could live way out in the country, and you would still be too trusting."

I am not sure what that all means but it doesn't sound good.

The neighbors was quite bothered by the whole experience too. So bothered that she had the mind to get a partial plate number with the description of the vehicle. She advised me to call the cops. I thanked her but was very skeptical about the cop idea. What could/would the cops do? However, unbeknownst to me, Soren thought that was a great idea. About 2 minutes later as I was still absorbing the news of my bunny a friend pulled in to my driveway. I was telling them the story when all of a sudden Soren ran up to me with the phone and said,

"Mom they want to talk to you."

"Who wants to talk to me?" I asked.

"The police. I called 911."

What?! I was hoping it was a joke so you can imagine my disappointment when I said hello and someone replied back. I went ahead and gave her the bunny info since Soren had called them. I mean, who calls the cops when a bunny goes missing. I felt stupid, but whatever. I do pay taxes. 10 minutes later a cop shows up. But not just a cop. I a cop with about 10 different weapons and type of bullets strapped to his belt. Wow, they take bunny stealing very seriously. Actually, he didn't' take it seriously at all but boy did Soren love to see all the weapons up close and personal.

"I've never seen a real live cop before." Soren exclaimed while trying to inch his way up to touch the cop and his goods. While my friend was shmoozing with the cop, up pulls a silver truck - One like my neighbor described. A woman and man pops out and sees me eyeing them.

"Did you loose a bunny?" they hollered.

Apparently they almost ran over the bunny. The woman had bunnies growing up and knew this bunny was domesticated and planned to knock on doors to find the owner but had to boogie to the airport to drop her mom off to a flight. They were new to the neighborhood and lived a few blocks away. They were really nice and when they saw the cop car they got really embarrassed. The woman said, "I was just joking in the car about what if a cop pulled us over." It was all really funny. Even after all this drama Flopsy was still resistant to go back in her cage.

The real problem is it is just not normal to let your bunny run around. I mean, no one goes to much effort when they almost hit a cat with their car. Or if someones dog runs in your yard. I really, really need to stop letting her out. If only my yard was fenced.

Bummer

And so it begins..........sleep walking and peeing. I was really hoping that would not be me.

How do you stop that? Prayer? Faith? Will it away? Oh, I know. Have him sleep in the bathroom with a lock on the door. The tub should make a fine bed.

Ideas?

Xander's ipod

Xander does not have an ipod. However he really, really, really wants one. I don't know why. I barely got one a year ago for Christmas. He thinks they are magical though and loves how he can listen to music that no one else gets to. He asks for an ipod all the time. I keep telling him that they cost lost and lots of money and only big kids usually get them. I think this intrigues him more, not less. I have often told him that he could earn the money for it but it would take a long time. He has never explored this option........until today.

Last summer I started paying the boys for chores. I wanted them to get the chance to buy things they want so when I am in the store and they beg me to buy stuff I can say, "Do you have any money?" and them to actually have a potential of having money. I also want them to connect money to hard work to motivate them for hard work, however I didn't want them to be able to opt out of chores if money isn't motivating - you still have to do your chores. So this is the system I came up with.

10 cents for every chore (some of these chores are barely chores, but things I want them to take personal responsibility. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, cleaning room, making bed, setting table, cleaning up toys, feeding animals and most recently cleaning bathrooms, sorting and folding laundry and vacuuming.)

20 cents if you do it without me asking. I would pay serious money for a self driven kid to do chores.

no money if I have to ask more then once.

Until recently, Xander has never been motivated by money. He just would say, "Soren will buy it for me, so I don't have to earn money." Soren is way too generous and kind with his money. Because of this attitude I have had to put my foot down with a new rule. "You should know Xander, I will not let Soren buy anything for you, no matter how nice he is or wants to. Sorry dude." What really has recently increased Xander's interest in money is when he realized money buys gum. And when you are the owner of the gum pack, you can have gum anytime you want, but when Mom is the owner of the gum pack, it is doled out very sparingly. Xander loves gum. So, he has felt the power of money and now I come to the ipod.

So today he begged for me to buy an ipod like he does every week or so and again I told him to earn the money. Well today the lightbulb went off and he became driven. So driven that he has

• cleaned the whole bathroom (granted this takes forever and I am involved a lot, but it is good training. Can't wait for the future)
• cleaned his room
• made his bed
• got dressed
• brushed his teeth
• vacuumed upstairs
• cleaned up all the toys upstairs
• and is now sorting the laundry and will put away his own laundry.

After every chore he asks if he made enough to buy the ipod. I told him he needs to earn 40$ (we are big craiglist fans) but that number just isn't sinking in, so we made a little poster with a check box by each dollar up to 40$. I can't believe the chart alone hasn't deterred him yet. I don't know how long this is going to last but it has been one amazing day.

He was amazing cleaning up the play room. He was so motivated and put everything where it belongs very quickly. It goes to show you that 4 yr olds are so capable when they aren't complaining and feeling abused.

$2.5 down - $37.5 to go.

Insights from the Dump

We are finally finishing cleaning up our yard from the ice/snow storm that took down so many trees and branches. I know I am growing up and getting more mature because there are times in my life I wish I was a girl. This may be confusing to you. Yes I am a woman, and a real one at that, but I am not a REAL girl. I do stuff all the time that real girls wouldn't do. Like cutting down trees with chainsaws or building decks and fences by myself ect. I use to just crave experience so bad I wanted to do EVERYTHING. Well, now that I have done a lot it is okay with me not to have to do everything. In fact, I want to try out being a girl. I haven't really done that yet. I want some man to go, "Oh let me help you that." as I am just a wee thing and a girl to boot. "Oh thank you strong man. It is so heavy and I just didn't know what to do, until you came a long." I am really terrible at this but suddenly see value in it.

As I was taking a monstrous load of branches and wood to the dump, I was thinking how I would love to be a girl - particularly today. The dump is one of Americas sins. If you go there is is the grossest, smelliest, ugliest place. Pleh - yuck! I always hate going to the dump and I feel like a terrible person when I do. I feel like I am polluting the world. Giving it cancer. Condemning it to death. Today I was dumping wood so what I was dumping didn't make me feel that way, but just being in that place did. So I am already feeling down from this horrific place when I get on top of my monstrous tangled pile of wood. How am I ever going to get all this stuff out of the trailer by myself. It is so heavy and tangled and pokey. I feel it is impossible for one little girl to accomplish such a feat by herself in this pit of despair. But I begin. I get slapped in the face with twigs and pathetically wrestle with the branches. I decide I will be here all day and there is no joy in the world. And so I commit myself to this misery and just keep working. I pull, yank, push and throw. I feel like I am making no headway. It is so impossible but I keep working.............and then what do you know, I am done in 15 minutes. 15 minutes of misery. That was it. I am shocked and surprised. Then a flood of memories of these same feelings come to me. Oh yeah, this is what happens to me every time I go to the dump. I think there is no way I can do this by myself but once I start and just keep going, it magically disappears. I have learned this lesson of "just keep working and the impossible become possible", many, many times, yet I still forget it. What is wrong with me? Why am I so stupid? Curse this flawed brain. If I could only remember what I learned, I would be so smart. I would actually have a head start on tomorrow. But instead I have to waste time re-learning and re-learning.

Now that the task is done, I am okay with not being a girl again and see value in being capable. - What a strange roller coaster of emotions.

(Note, Ryan took this mango pile to the dump the day before, but sadly it already closed. So today I needed to do it because he was at work.)